Sunday, May 22, 2011

I'm only happy when it rains

What could be more serene and peaceful than watching the downpour from the warmth and comfort of your home, sipping hot cocoa and indulging in a book you've been putting off? These are my favourite kinds of days. That's not to say that I don't love the hot, sunny, "let's go to the beach" kinds of days either, but this is something different, where I feel no guilt in spending all day meditating, staying at home by myself. There is nothing more soothing than a sound of rain (in the absence of the ocean waves, of course). These are the pensive, creative kinds of days, that allow you to tap into your inner being, to slow down and just be here...

View from my window

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Europe excitement

Realizing how close I am to Italy, being in South Germany, is rather an exciting thought. I remember my giddy excitement as a little kid when my dad brought me Swiss chocolates after visiting Zurich and some of Italy and ever since then my interest towards Italian culture and the desire to visit it someday had been growing. And here I am now! It's rather funny how despite being in Germany, I am much more interested in seeing the neighboring countries instead. It's not that I don't find Germany interesting, in fact, I love the vast wheat fields, little farming towns, rolling green hills and even some of the larger cities. It's just that given the choice, I'd rather be by the seaside instead, and a warm one, preferably. Thus, the Mediterranean coast is my best (and closest) option. There is really nothing like waking up by the sea and taking a stroll in the warm morning sunlight, perhaps stopping by the bakery, full of people enjoying their morning coffee and a newspaper, to get your fresh bread and then heading home to have a sumptuous, leisurely breakfast on your balcony overlooking the promenade. -That's me reminiscing of our times spent in La Pineda. And it's view like these that make me want to come back for more (taken during my first trip to the Mediterranean coast in October):

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Attitude of Gratitude

I woke up today only by convincing myself that I can as long as I actually show up for my "scientific practice" at the Water Research Centre, I can successfully do nothing. Check emails, sit on facebook,-whatever it takes to make the 3 hours go by faster and less painfully. Yes, I know that I am supposed to be happy about doing something real, learning new skills and somehow "moving towards" eventually writing my thesis, but when I am giving up my only free morning when I could've been sleeping in, it's awful, it's terrible, and I am never in the  mood to work or "impress anyone". Better yet, I've made next to zero progress in the last 3 weeks, as I am still working on the same set of well data. Good thing they're not paying me, ha!

By the time lunch rolled around, I've noticed the grumpiness lifting bit by bit. And when I finally came home after another 3-hour lecture, one of my best friends from Russia was online and was willing to talk to me, endlessly. So here's what I've been meaning to say for a while:

I am so, so grateful for the wondeful friends in my life who make every day things fun. What started out as the kind of day that your cannot wait to finish, turned into a happy, content, loving one! And it doesn't matter whether we meet on the computer in some cyber space or in real life.  What matters is the amount of love, compassion and understanding pouring out of their hearts. I am one lucky girl to have these friends! Thank you :)

Saturday, May 14, 2011


Why couldn't life just be as simple as: put on a new outfit, buy a new pretty dress and feel happy? Or why can't it just be all about pleasure and vanity? Get up, make your hair pretty, your face glowing, eyes sparkling, go out for yummy cake and lay down with your loved one, cuddling and watching a movie in the evening...why does it have to be deeper than that? why do we have to think about careers and what to do with our lives and how to make money and what we need to do on a daily basis in order to not fall behind, not to sit still and "fall out of the boat of life"? Or do we at all? Is that what people mean by "stepping out of the rat race" and enjoying every small moment instead? I mean, where is the difference between vanity/shallowness and honest contentment?
 Or does it go back to the same "the things that make you happy define your level of awareness" type of thing?
I wish life was really just as simple as buying a new shirt sometimes.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Resistance is futile

Resisting is the theme of the day, it seems.
I find that I must give up my childish, innocent views of the world for something more mature and grown up: accept that not everyone will always care about you and appreciate your company, accept that most people care about very little other than themselves.

So i ask myself: at which point is it worth it to give up, to change the dream from the one you'd thought you wanted to the next one? at which point do you say: enough, I've changed and I no longer benefit from this experience?
The one good quality of unhappiness is that it motivates us to change, to morprh, to strive for that which is not where you are now, to move towards the opposite, the happiness...
I get that noone can make your life happen FOR you, that I cannot just sit and idly watch as the things I want start to appear in my life. Although, wouldn't that be nice?