Saturday, February 12, 2011

Decisions, decisions.

Making decisions for happiness, based on happiness.
I don't know about you, but my whole life the only area I really struggled in was the making decisions department. I usually felt too overwhelmed with the variety of options, or otherwise limited and trapped by having too few. In either case, I would usually procrastinate and wait until "the choice makes itself", either by missing all the other opportunities or by forfeiting my right to participate. I've often felt as if someone was always watching a waiting for me to make the wrong move, so they can judge in their self-righteousness. And so I have always been envious of the "make a choice and never look back" mentality. It always sounded too good to be true. "So you mean any choice I make is a good one as long as I learn from it?"- I would often ask, in complete disbelief. I guess somewhere deep inside there has always been an installed belief in pure "right" and "wrong", which now, I am beginning to admit, does not exist. 
Often we find ourselves to be a different person that the one who made a decision that led you to where you are now. So we evaluate and change the course. It is only natural to change direction as your inner self morphs into something new. Often we try to put ourselves in  a "box of definitions": I am this and not that... and we think this is the way it has to stay. And it doesn't.
As we morph and grow into the people we envision or cannot even imagine yet, everything changes. Sometimes it's ok to do a 90-degree turn and sometimes it is ok to do a 180. As long as you are making that decision from a place of peace and happiness in your heart. 
Granted, it would be nice to see "what's around the corner". It would be nice to have a glimpse of the consequences of your decisions before you make it. But more often that not, we already know what that decision is. Life points it out to you if you are open and ready to listen. In many subtle ways: through song lyrics, people we meet, things we read,-we are guided, constantly. And as long as the idea of what we "must be" does not stand in our way, I believe in our capacity to make the right decisions for ourselves and for the whole...based on happiness.

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